Skip to main content

i hate that i miss you

That's what i've been feeling these days and really i hate that feeling.
You know sometimes, i'm pretty tired of missing you, of thinking of you before i go to sleep every night.
Why must your phone have no service again?? Its so difficult to contact one another and when i thought that i could finally have the chance to contact you via skype, i realised its probably worst. Talking to you via skype made me even more sad because sometimes it seems as if you couldn't see the difference if i was hurt or i was angry. You always assume i'm angry when i'm not, sometimes even when i keep quiet, you'll assume that i'm emo-ing or being angry. BUT ITS NOT!!! Its just that i want to be quiet ya know? 
Ytd when i found you online, i was superrrrrrrr happppy that i could literally jump out of my bed!!!!!!!!!
But when i started talking you, my mood slowly went down.
It seemed that playing games were so much more important to you than me. 
You could like pause a while to talk to me yeah? Like just a while. And not say "i tell you i playing games mah". It hurts me when you say things like that and all i could do was to go along with your flow.
Silently, i was crying in my heart. 
i hated it when i miss you so much and it seems like you don't give a damn.
Was i wrong to care for you, like you never msged me for so longgg
and now, ven when you're online on skype, i talked you didn't reply.
If you were unable to reply back, i'll understand. But if you were actually playing games and not replying me, i'll probably be really sad.
& now i am really sad, you actually forgot to mention me in your post? ;(
Is it you really forgot or you probably didn't even remember??? Even the guys name were insideeee. i'm your best friend in primary school. Or was. I teared because i was wondering what am i to you? Maybe i'm being too sensitive but i hate it when i miss that person and that person doesn't seem to show the same feeling. 
Why should i even bother to miss them in the first place?
The feeling of missing hurts. Maybe i should just stop. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart

Holy grail, can't believe its been more than a year and here I am...decided that it's finally the night that I will pretty much like to update my blog. Yes what a year it has been, wouldn't have expected that my life will be like this a year back. Despite saying this, me is contented. Sitting right here alone in an A/C room hearing to 2NE1 music after a good bath and dinner, spending some me-time (while e hubby go for an impromtu night to JB with his bros). Heh tgif! Loving such Friday night <3  Been learning to appreciate these rare moments of me-time, to make use of it in a way that will make me feel good after. Recently, I thought to myself that 'hey its time to start brushing up the self-growth part of me as well as feeding my own mind and soul' cuz lately that was the part of me that I felt neglected - I guess I do sometimes pin a lot of expectations on myself when it comes to my growth at my work - what do i learn from it (aka professional growth) that I so...

Courage over fear

What a crazy past three weeks it has been - rollarcoaster of emotions for me and I can't believe I survived it T.T From having my dad admitted to hospital in fear of an injury that was discovered to receiving a job opportunity and having to make a career decision in such a short span of time (while i'm on leave) to taking that brave step to inform my boss and ro on my intent to go for the interview to driving without JJ for the first time(s). A whirlpool of emotions, it feels overwhelming to be honest.  And I guess a lot of the emotions were more on the negative side - feeling fearful, anxious of the unknown, terrified maybe. And on the other hand, sense of relief and happiness when my dad was finally discharged because the doctors deem that it wasn't life-threathening and that he just had to attend further body check ups thereafter to receiving the full support and care from my boss and ro. I literally couldn't control my tears falling the moment my boss shared the pie...

Hello October!

A year and six months since the first CB started and look at where we are right now...still feeling pretty surreal that we're still in the midst of battling this pandemic or per say endemic to be?  I guess many of us wouldn't have imagined us to be battling this Covid-19 till today, and I'm just thankful that my loved ones are all safe and healthy <3  It's def been a difficult year for many (mostly in bad way i will say, minus the good part that we do get a decent amount of time to spend at home with your family as most people do wfh since last Apr 2020). But then again, I guess you can say I miss the liveliness of the neighbourhood, I miss the carefree times when we can indeed hang out as a group without worries (now I don't think I can forsee being maskless anytime soon even in the next year but I only wish for the easing of group gatherings because I sincerely miss family/relatives time and opportunities to hang out with your friends!) Covid-19 made me treasur...