Its 30th december 2015 and in exactly 2 days, it will be 2016,
Sigh i cant' recall how quickly time flies since like 2015 started.
Its seems like every year passes by faster and faster and i'm constantly trying to grasp on the memories made in that year, telling myself to always cherish the good memories and forget the bad ones. To tell myself that life's constantly changing and that you have to go with the flow as well. I'm someone who doesn't like changes, to be honest, i would love to stay in my comfort zone.
But as i grew up, i knew that one can't stay the same forever.
Even if i decide not to change, the things and people around me will still change.
Change is what makes things better than it is before and gradually i learnt to accept it.
Like how when one falls in love for the first time, it changes your life forever.
You will never forget your first love because that's how you know that nervous yet excited feeling when he first holds your hand, first kisses you etc. All the 'first' of the list of things you did are the ones that etched the deepest memories inside of your head.
No matter what, its always there, deep inside but never forgotten even as the years passed.
I remembered thinking about what i've have done for this 2015 and there were so many things that went through my head.
It's been the best year of my life.
Truthfully, the year that i've experienced so much and i wouldn't trade it for any other.
Firstly, my internship in Phuket which officially ended on 31 Jan 2015.
Its been the best experience i would say though i had my ups and downs during that five months,
but never once when i looked back and i would regret any bit of it.
Lately, been reminiscing about my intern days and i'm missing my friends so much. :'(
I really anticipate to see them (soon). Please?
Isn't it magical how you meet some people for the first time, no knowing that they will end up meaning so much to you.
That's one reason why i'm looking forward to 2016. I sincerely wish for them to come to Singapore.
Because i wonder when will we ever get the chance to meet again?
Its like you can never go back to the days, like how i would never experience my intern life in Phuket.
I've seen and been through pretty much a lot there and i'm thankful for the experience.
One thing overseas internship taught me is to treasure and cherish my family even more.
Living overseas was one of my obstacles and i'm glad to overcome it together with my buddy and the rest.
Secondly, poly grad trip - Korea.
Couldn't admit that it was the most fun trip but i truly enjoyed myself.
Super grateful to meet a bunch of close friends in poly who accompanied me to spend my three years and making my poly life one of the bests in my studying life. Couldn't imagine life without them.
Honestly, wishing for all of them to make it for my birthday so that it could be another gathering for everyone again. After graduation, everyone's busier and we are all unable to meet as a whole group because of various commitments.
At times, i wonder if in the next five to ten years, will we still be able to call one another and meet up for a meal?
What if we grew distanced from one another because of work? Commitments etc.
The thought of graduation excites me but the reality of becoming a adult officially and to commit the rest of my life to working scares me too.
Its like all of a sudden, i don't want to grow up so quickly.
Though school is tough, but i would rather continue studying and be a student forever.
Because growing up and become an adult, going to work and all, there will be no more school holidays or breaks and everyone out there is gonna have a life of their own. Eventually the friends you meet daily/weekly, you only see them once in awhile or even not at all, and its sad to think of that.
Like what my friend said, "That's just how life is, we grow up and have our own lives, not everyone will be free to meet as and then like now."
I hate to admit it but deep down in my heart, i know its true. (Sigh)
That's why i always tell myself, to treasure the people around me and to make time for the people i care and love. I don;t want to have regrets when i grow up that i didn't put in enough effort back then.
There are a friend or two I've feel like I've lost along the way as i grew up and one of which i regretted. And its something i wished i could go back in time to do the things i should have done when i could but i didn't. So if there was one advice i would say to myself back then two three four years ago, that would be: To cherish the people who were constantly there for you and..to not lose yourself along the way of growing up, be it when you have fallen in love or anything.
But at the end of the day, it makes up who i am today.
I will treat the past memories as an experience to learn from and be better than who i was yesterday.
Thirdly, Taiwan trip (Double bestfriends trip)
One of the most fun trips though i felt like the second last part of it, i kinda ruined it.
That trip taught me to learn to control my emotions and not let it take control of my conscious mind.
I remembered feeling mad at my best friend for some reason and its what led to unhappinesses between the two of us,
It reminded me of how important communication is. And i would want to tell myself to be sensible enough to tell others how i feel if i'm feeling angry or upset. To not bottle it up inside of me. To put it in words nicely. I know i have an attitude issue and i'm trying my best to correct it.
It's like at times, i feel like i have so many flaws and i wonder if someone will be able to love me for who i am, Because even i feel unlovable about myself. And thats why i don't wish to commit to anyone unless i'm confident of myself. I want to be able to love myself more than anyone firstly. To learn to love my flaws as well.
Nonetheless, that trip was truly memorable with my girls and i'm elated to be able to visit Taiwan like finally after 19 years.
Fourthly, Phuket trip - Attend P'May Wedding.
The best #notyourordinarygradtrip with my buddy.
The best trip i have to admit, it felt great to go back to Angsana and see familar faces and catching up with my friends. The 5D4N was spent beautifully and if only i could experience it again.
Sometimes i like to think to myself how lucky i am to meet such wonderful friends.
Honestly missing each and everyone of them insanely.
Fifthly, Working at USS.
Never did i imagined myself landing a job at Universal Studios and operating rides, though its not any attractive or popular ride, but i enjoyed myself at HNC. I've learnt quite a bit from working there through interacting with the people there. The people i've met that came from all walks of life, and i remembered feeling so excited for work during the period of my holidays before school started because of the friends i've made. Never expected to be so close to them too. :)
And now through the people i've knew left, things have changed and new people has joined the team, i decided to remind myself the initial reason why i decided to work here and thats because i love interacting and serving people and bringing smiles to their faces.
With that thought in mind, it instantly brought a smile to my face.
I knew that in this industry, people come and go. We have to accept that and live with it.
You stay with a job not because of the people but because you love your job.
And though i have no idea how long i'm going to stay in this job, i just want to work my best every time i'm on shift. Thats the most i could do for my guests.
Sixthly, Bintan trip with Angsana interns.
One of the most relaxing trips ever and i'm so happy to see them three again.
Been always looking forward to meeting all of them because whenever i'm with them,
it feels like i could replay one of those times in Phuket and it just feels so nice to do that every single since we meet. We could talk about the stupid or funny things we did and stuff. #nostalgic
To be honest, this group of girls i truly hope to continue keeping in contact with them too. (hopefully)
Seventh on e list - Phuket trip with ACTK.
Honestly, it could have been way better.
But i guess things has changed a lot along the way and sometimes, i do wish to go back to the times when our group was just created, How we interacted with one another with no awkwardness and it was just pure fun with them. I know i cannot change things but i do hope to make it at least, a little better if possible.
I'm always saying that for others, and yet i wonder if i truly walked out of it.
I know that i would always miss those times with you but i'm just thankful for everything.
I wonder when will be the next time i see someone and my heart starts beating faster and those butterfly feelings in my tummy, but i hope by then, i will be ready.
And even if i don't meet that someone, i will be alright by myself. (Mental note to myself)
The most "dreaded" part, starting university.
A part of me looked forward but the moment i started school, i remembered wanting every day to pass faster and to just get me to my weekends. The past 3 months thereby flew past so quickly because i was so busy and overwhelmed with school work that i have broke down countless times.
Thanks to my family and friends who gave me constant encouragements to keep me going and i truly appreciate all the efforts.
The past 14 weeks has been nothing but a torture.
And i'm so proud to accomplished this milestone.Though its only a trimester down, but its gotta be the toughest one for my uni life and I've conquered it!
I wonder how my grades would be but i just wanna tell myself that i did my best, and whatever the results may be, let it not drag me down but be a motivation for me to continue performing or to reflect on what went wrong and improve on it the next time round.
And yes USS Halloween Night with my USSfrenz and my best friend. Memorable nights because the last time i went to play was in 2012 and it felt great to be able to attend this year round. Different company makes a difference and i enjoyed myself for the two nights.
Lately, my months in October and November has also been pretty interesting because I've been going for friday night runs with the new friends I've made through B. I didn't expect us to become so close lately especially since his internship ended but i'm thankful for the new friendships I've forged. They're a bunch of nice people and i really liked spending time and talking about life with them.
I'm also surprised at myself going to church recently and though deep down i wonder if i'm only going there because of friends or because i want to have a relationship with God but i know that every time i leave a service, i learnt something new. Something that i could reflect on when i get back home and apply it to my life in whatever ways possible. Its just something about Church that makes me want to go back because of the ways i could relate to the preaching and all. I wonder if i will convert in the future but for now, i guess i shall stay true to my religion.
And friday nights has changed from BBT nights with the KCP people to dinners with the tgif group to night runs. Though i missed those BBT days at playground and all, i know that one day, eventually we will all stop doing those things because life has more things for us to do.
So i'm thankful for the days i've spent doing those.
There's like a thousand and one things going through my mind now and i just wish that time could slow down. i wish that friends will stay connected forever. i wish that we meet people for a reason and no matter what that is, to always be grateful for every friendship/relationship forged. And lastly, i wish for a better year ahead, I wish for myself to be brave and look forward to whatever that's to come in 2016.
"The best reason to go forward, is knowing you can’t go back."
Comments